THERE IS NO “WHY?,” THERE IS “WHAT FOR?”

There is so much hope, will and optimism in Ogita’s voice. I would very much like you to hear that voice with which he interpreted a philosophy of a complete and true life. If I had not known that only a few months ago she had lost her beloved husband in the war, the father of her three children, I would have thought that I was talking to a man who had no problems. He possesses a great and powerful thing, which is not given to people who live a very, very “prosperous” life… She has the perfect realization of his way of life and the ability to appreciate it as a grace of God. Not only does she heroically overcome the painful reality, but she also manages to spread hope and faith around everyone, to help others to overcome the pain of irreversible loss. She would not trade the 18 earthly years she lived with her immortal husband, Davit Ananyan, who died in the 44-day war, for any “good” in the world.

“As soon as the war started, Davit went to the military commissariat, saying that as a reserve officer he should have waited for being called,” says Ogita. “The wait was terrible. He was upset, he was trying to find out which detachment was going to go to the front to join. Due to corneal disease, vision gradually deteriorated. He recently had surgery. Six glasses were to be prescribed only after six months. When I tried to calm him down or convince him that war was not his place, he got angry. “You did not think so. What happened to you? ” I was saying. “Davit, I know what you are capable of. I do not want you to feel incomplete on the battlefield.”\

“At least I will clean potatoes. I will help you with something. ” Finally, he joined one of the detachments leaving for the front line. At first they were fighting in Karvachar, in recent days in the area of the Red Market.

… Now I look at the photos of his front line, I see the amazing happy gleam in his eyes … I meet his friends, the people who have been in contact with him in recent days եմ I collect the “puzzle” of events. When I was offered to go to Artsakh to attend the posthumous award ceremony, where President Arayik Harutyunyan was to present the Davit’s Medal of Courage, I had serious thoughts, but … I left. On the same day, I went to the same place together with the widows of my friends who died, Vagharshak Grigoryan and Karen Karapetyan. By the way, now we are very close with three women. We support each other, help each other in trouble. The children also became friends, the commander was with us, the boys who fought with them. We talked all the way. It was hard, but we learned a lot of new things from each other. We learned the story of a famous photo of three friends with a log that was once published in Hay Zinvor. Learning the log, they smile happily in the picture … One of the fighting friends, “Are you Davit’s wife … I am their fourth friend,” he said excitedly. That was his name. I asked. “They are so happy in all the pictures. What was there to be happy about? ” I asked about the picture with a log. Yeghon told how the photo was taken. “My weapon with which I fought was more powerful than theirs. These three looked at me a little confused. They always wanted to take it from me jokingly. Once Davit and Vagho took that puppy, put it on their shoulders and said: “Wait, surprise with your weapon. See, is ours lacking? ” And they were laughing. Artak, one of our boys, also said. “Stand up, let me paint. It will be a very beautiful shot, I will immortalize you…. ”

I took all the photos and videos they had taken in those days from my comrades-in-arms. I brought it, showed it to the children, they saw what conditions they had created in their position in that difficult situation.

… On the night of the ceasefire, until dawn, the fighting continued. Immediately after the ceasefire was announced, our positions were attacked. There were heavy fights until dawn… Vagharshak, Davit and Karen were in the trenches when the plane flew in their direction. “They were responsible for the bombings.”

About Davit, his comrades-in-arms told Ogita that he was unbelievable, in their words, had an “abnormal” spirit. “They said. We were all depressed at times, I could have been in a bad mood, but there was an unusual calm in him. In our most depressed moment, someone was saying. “Let me see who drinks tea. If you look at yourself, you will be left without tea. ” Or he would tell a joke during a shootout. “Davit, this is not the time.” But he did not need it. He was shooting on the one hand, telling jokes on the other. ” The boys said in unison that they had overcome many difficult moments thanks to Davit. Everyone was shooting, bombs were falling from the sky, they did not know whether they would be alive the next moment or not, and he seemed to be in a different reality. “Guys, I’m making tea!” And immediately there was light in the atmosphere.

When I said that Davit had a vision problem, everyone looked at me strangely. “It is impossible. He fired very accurately. ” I said. “After all, he could even see dimly for a few meters.” “What vision problem? It was often an accurate observation from the point of view. ” I laughed at this word. “What was he watching with those eyes?” One of the comrades said. “Oh, dear Ogita, you, like your husband, give humor in every situation.” “I do not give humor, really I’m in shock. ”

Someone remembered that no matter what the conditions, he always bathed in cold water, even on the coldest day. So nothing has changed in his life. As soon as he had a quiet moment, he would drink his tea and take a cold bath. The boys remembered how Davit once said in a nostalgic voice: “Guys, you know, right? As soon as I get home, I’m going to fill a big tub with very hot water, go in and put a bucket of tea next to me and … drink, drink, be satisfied.”

… Davit’s father was born in Martakert, in Harutyunagomer. My mother is also from Martakert. We spent our summers there. He adored the nature of Artsakh. He graduated from the Police Academy. Everyone was trying to serve in Yerevan, and his mind was on Artsakh. We lived in the same building, we were from the same school. He was a very polite, reserved boy, I was naughty.

… When Davit and I were about to get married, he told my father that he wanted to serve in Artsakh and start our life together there. He was a kung fu coach, he intended to train the children of Artsakh there in parallel with the service. Both of us were trained by Karo Kebabjyan. to convey his unusual patriotism to us, our students. Now, when I look at Davit’s coaching friends, they look so much alike as if they were a comb. All this came from the Master. When the Master approached me at Davit’s funeral, he said very sadly. “I would not prepare him for this day.” And I answered. “Thank you”: My friends who were next to me wondered what I was saying. Indeed, I was grateful to Karo Kebabjyan for his kindness, and that Davit had received that great gift from him – patriotism. “Davit, Davit:!”

I have a careful interpretation of all this. Arkady Ter-Tadjosyan, Karo Kebabjyan, who died on the same day, all our heroic boys who died for the Homeland, form a powerful celestial army in the sky. There is no other option. Their need was felt above, I think, as intercessors…

… Davit told me so beautifully about our future life in Artsakh that, although my mother asked me to keep her from settling in Artsakh, I agreed very quickly. I said, “I will work as a biology teacher too.”

He was 23 years old when he became the youngest head of criminal investigation, while walking around the villages near Shushi and training children. Karo Kebabjyan received a medal at the ceremony dedicated to the 40th anniversary of the Union of Armenian Belts in Shushi. It was a very happy day. Shushi was a special place for him. Now I think that even if he survived, he would not be able to withstand the current status of Shushi … ”

Ogita attended the youth union of the Jrvezh church and grew up, as he says, in the hands of the church’s father, Father Kyuregh. From the age of 12 he sang in Jrvezh church. “Our friendship was between a father and a daughter. He married me and sealed my children. … After Davit, I clung to Father Cyrus. he was the pillar that kept me strong in this world. Then came that unfortunate car accident… I thought, “How, Lord God, what are you doing? There was a struggle inside me. “Didn’t Father Cyrus help me to overcome the pain?” And, imagine, he managed to comfort me just before he left this world, just days after Davit. On the day of Davit’s funeral, the Lord Father came, hugged me and said: “Oh dear, God takes man to the best, highest point of his soul. He may have lived with you, he opened up, but as a person, his soul did not open up before the war. ” If that’s the culmination of his life, then, oh, oh, oh.

There is always human grief, there is nothing you can do about it. I have had many moments of despair. But it is normal, it is human. I understood that simple truth through the Lord Father. “Can you imagine what we have to do in this life to achieve what our boys achieved in that short time?” Said Father Cyril, who was always with me in those days. On the day of the funeral, when he left the house, he said: “I knew you were our friend, but I could not have imagined this degree.” Losing her was my second major stress. But then I started meeting people who seemed to be sending me messages, answering questions that tormented me. I am very sad because we were a loving couple. I try to treat with humor. I say to myself, wasn’t that love a pity? We lived together for 18 years and with a lot of love, so it was given to us, thank God! I’m glad I never hurt him. Even if I was upset about something, I did not blame him. God has given me that wisdom, for which I am very grateful.

… When I came home from church, Davit said: “God loves you. In any case, he will love me a little. ” He always thought that by marrying him, I had saved him. Now I understand that it was the opposite. He was a very pure soul. When I saw families coming to the Liturgy on Sunday, he was playing basketball, I was upset. I used to say, “You leave me alone.” He was answering. “I do not deserve to come to church.” “It seems to you Are all those who come to church with angelic flaws? ”I laughed. “I love it, I’m glad you’re leaving, don’t be offended.” In my short mind, I thought I was closer to God than he was. But now I understand so much… One day he said. “Oh, I did not want to be offered a godfather and I refused. I’m always afraid of that day. ” I do not know anyone else who approached the godfather’s mission with such extreme responsibility. I recently watched a video of our godchildren christening, our last happiest day together. It is indescribable how he looked at those children. I have never seen anything like it! And only then did I realize what great fear and dread he had in himself, what great faith …

After he leaves, I am amazed that I can think and live. I’m sure it’s thanks to his help. Interesting things happen to me all the time. When a question torments me, I meet people who answer that question independently. People who have experienced the pain of loss, who keep repeating: “Why should this happen to us?” I say. “Why not? There is a” Why? ”

I hope this spirit of mine will help my children succeed in life. My eldest, Nare, will be 18 soon. My middleman, Monte, is 13 years old. My little one, Goriks, 5. I always tell them. “Children, this is not death, this is not the time for you to lower your heads, say, ‘We do not have a father … Your father has passed on many gratitude for his death to you, your peers.’ I keep telling them to be right outside so that Dad can look down and not be offended, so that he can be proud of his children.

During the April war, Davit felt very bad that he had reached positions and had not had time to fight. Then we moved to Berdzor for work. His sincerity and purity one day disappointed him, and he abruptly decided to leave his post and return to Yerevan. I was surprised, but I was a little happy. he would be an ideal policeman, but in an ideal system. He thought he would recover when he came to Yerevan, but he did not succeed. He did not give up any job to support his family. He started as a porter, then in whatever profession he tried, he reached perfection from scratch. He started as an insurance agent and became the head of Rosgosstrakh Abovyan branch. The dilapidated branch was entrusted to him. He restored in two years. Thanks to him, the branch in 2018. was recognized as the best. He lived that job. Galis told stories about the employees and was proud of them. They loved him very much. Now, after Davit, “Rosgosstrakh” is behind me. You can not imagine how much power these people give me. On Monteis’ birthday, I opened the door to see various hiking gear, sleeping bags, and a gift. We opened the door on Gorik’s birthday and saw a beautiful bicycle decorated with balloons. I always meet good people.

Members of Davit’s volunteer squad began to visit us frequently. They are always by our side, they help and support us in every issue. They always hold rallies after the war. And when Nare said. “Mom, I want to join too,” I said angrily. He said he felt better and calmer there. He persuaded. “We all need to learn the military. It will not bother you either. ” Recently they had ten-day competitions, he participated and took the first place. The prize was a dagger. brought, proudly showed. At first I was angry about why you brought that knife, but his courage was so great that it infected me too. Friends were calling one by one. “You know, Nare was the most accurate.”

The middle one: Montes is silent, taciturn, thoughtful… Our little one, Gor, is the third child after a long break… He is a very interesting child, he makes interesting “analyzes”. At first he said. “Dad left me, he left.” I explained that he had gone for us to protect us. That he became an angel, because the strongest become angels. “Why didn’t he wait for me to grow up and go together?” I said. “That is why he left for you to serve in the army peacefully. “And what is that?” I tried to explain, he understood. And literally the “rejection phase” has recently started. came to me angry. “Don’t tell me that Daddy is in heaven, do you hear?” I asked. “How can I say, what do you want me to say?” “Tell him Dad is in the army. You do not know, there are so many Turks there, it takes a long time to eliminate them all. That’s why he’s not coming yet. He will come, you will see. ” I consulted a psychologist. He said that my son has a “rejection stage”, it will pass. “It is good that it is expressed. There are children who become self-contained. The important thing is to be honest with him. ”

My son sings the song “The guys are gone, they will not come back” changing the words. “They left, but they will come back.” He looks at me while singing. “Do you hear them coming?” One day we were walking down the street: “Mom, let me sing for you.” “What song is it? Sing!” “My mother and I are very strong because we can live without my father. “When the light in our house breaks, my father helps my mother from above” and so long an improvisation that was born from his thoughts. “A lot “You commented on everything well, live, Gors, it was a very good song,” I said, secretly wiping my tears.

Ogita Ghukasyan is a social worker in Jrvezh community hall. Only the community of Jrvezh claimed 17 victims. During all this time he communicates with the relatives of the dead and wounded, tries to solve their problems,…… thus forgets himself. “I often surprise myself. What kind of human being is this? How does God manage that I can still help others in my grief? There were parents of the wounded who were upset and complaining. One day I visited them and said, “Do you know that my husband also died? Who am I complaining about?… Thank God, your children are back … They will be treated, operated on, and they will get back on their feet. We will help you. We are by your side…”

By KNAR TADEVOSYAN

Photos by Ogita Ghukasyan and from the family album